Waking Up Waking Down Blog

Tired. Confused. Scared. Excited. Scared.

I am taking seriously Saniel’s recommendation that we do “as little as possible” during the rot. I lay in bed at night and allow myself to feel feel feel with as few distractions as possible. I do my best to relax my body into the bed, luckily my yoga practice helps me do this easily. Then there IS nothing to do but feel….and then sleep…fitfully.

Rotting can feel quite painful and scarey and overwhelming. I feel very lonely at times. I feel like a little bitty cog in this giant universe machine. And I sometimes feel like every cog knows his/her place and understands their function – except me. Except my little befuddled, anxious cog-self.

My latest Rot symptoms are lethargy, fatigue – oh yeah, that lack of interest in past practices and disciplines. I mean, my God, I almost ordered a hamburger at a diner Saturday night!

But I like the title of this blog (oh, how I love Eric Clapton) because the Rot is evolutionary progress, right? I mean, right? Yeah, it is, right? It’s a comforting thought when I’m laying in bed just allowing the feelings I’ve spent my whole life repressing to surface and express themselves.